Over the past little while I've been in some sort of contact with people I haven't seen in years. It's all nostalgic and happy. Well, it's nostalgic, but not so happy. It makes me sad. I miss my old life sometimes. I miss being able to just go if I wanted to. Meeting up with friends at our favourite coffee shop (which no longer exists) and talking, playing cards, being silly and serious.
I miss all the ups and downs that were apart of my old life. We were a large group of like-minded individuals. Friends who would be there for you if you needed them. I miss the occasional love (or lust) triangles that would form. I was in a few of my own. I miss the parties that we would have. God, those were fun times. The booze and occasionally the drugs. Karmi used to be a pot head! *gasp*. I miss the good times we had. So many memories came flooding back after seen pictures that were taken almost 10 years ago. We all seemed so happy to be together. To be friends.
How things have changed. A rather large part of our old "Clique" has moved out of the city. Some are still here, but we've started families, got jobs that keep us from having a social life and for the most part, just drifted away from each other. That's the part that makes me sad.
Don't get me wrong, I love my kids and my pseudo-hubby. I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world. However, that doesn't change the fact that I really, really miss the way things used to be.
Heh. At least I have a way of keeping in touch with some of these people now.
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I try not to look back. I had friends...lots of them. I had fun....tons of it. Now I have family and stress and bills and no friends and it seems like precious little fun. Who wouldn't want to go back?? So every day isn't some teenage emotional rollercoaster ride....there are moments that I would have missed that I cherish...and all of my friends did the same thing...we grew up, got married, had kids....and sadly I lost a few friends because they didn't do that as fast as the rest of us....so if I had tried to stay the same, things still wouldn't stay the same because everyone else moved on. That's what life is about....not living in the past but planning for the future and loving the present. *hug*
-Kat
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